I’ve been debating writing this post for months, it’s personal and uncomfortable for me to open myself up this much, but I’ve ultimately decided that if my story has the chance to help someone then it’s worth it to share.
The first time my husband and I decided to try for a baby it was easy. I originally got pregnant a few months after going off birth control, which I’d been on for 10 years. That pregnancy actually ended up being a blighted ovum, meaning the gestational sack formed but there wasn’t actually an fertilized egg that had developed. I was devastated, logically I knew there was never a baby, that I hadn’t really lost anything, and that even if there had been an embryo that most miscarriages happen because there was something wrong with the embryo anyway. I knew all of this, it all made sense to me, but I couldn’t stop uncontrollably crying for days. Every time I thought about it I’d burst into tears. My poor husband who’d probably never seen me cry more than a couple times now had this highly emotional wife. He was so supportive, but I knew he didn’t get how I was feeling, hell, even I didn’t understand it. Looking back I was mourning the loss of possibility. I’d imagined what the baby would be like, how our lives would change, what kind of parents my husband and I would be, and in a blink of an eye it was all taken away, just gone. I’m grateful for that experience, it brought my husband and I closer together, gave me a new perspective and helped me find my amazing midwife who is infinitely better than the original OB group I had gone to. It’s estimated up to 75% of women will have a miscarriage in their life, knowingly or not, that’s a sobering statistic, and one that should help other women realize this isn’t uncommon, it shouldn’t be taboo to talk about, and you’re not alone going through it; most of us understand and have been through a similar situation.
Luckily at the end of that year; just a few months after the first time, we found out we were pregnant again, and it was the perfect pregnancy and we have a healthy, happy and thriving daughter. We were surprised by how easy it was to get pregnant, we’d expected it to be a long hard road, after me being on birth control for so long and possibly having endometriosis and/or poly-cystic ovarian disease (PCOD).
Flash forward to my daughter being 18 months old, we decided we were ready to try for another baby. All my friends with kids her age were already pregnant again, it was so easy the first time we never thought this time would be any different. Oh how wrong we were. It took us an entire year before we got that positive test. It was an emotionally draining and confusing year. After doing a lot research on what could be causing this I found out that 25% of mothers have problems getting pregnant a second time. 25%! That’s crazy to me, my husband and I had been able to get pregnant to easily the first time, what had changed? I’d been doing natural family planning with no success, I had bought a pack of cheap ovulation test strips from but couldn’t read them at all (Friends have recommended these ones if you’re interested in tracking your ovulation with the sticks), and used preseed (which i swear helped the first time). My OB kept telling us to give it more time, or we could try progesterone to stimulate an egg to release. I didn’t want to take any medications, I knew my body could do it by itself. So after 9 months of negative tests, and lots of research I decided to try my own fertility fix. Obviously I’m not a doctor and I’m not saying this will work for you. But here are the steps I took that helped me finally get pregnant again.
- Took a 3 month break from trying. I couldn’t take another month of anxiously waiting for the right time to take a pregnancy test, get my hopes up all for it to be negative…again. I needed a break emotionally, and people are always saying “it will happen when you stop stressing and trying”. Take a break, relax, lower your stress, enjoy life and stop worrying for a few months. My husband believes this is the main thing that worked for us. Also, the next steps take about 3 months to take effect and make the other changes your body might need.
- Fertility Diet. I stumbled upon this blog and podcast talking about a diet for IVF patients that had such great success rates I decided to try it. It was surprisingly easy to do, I never felt like I was dieting. This super simple “diet” is just keeping your Carbs <40% and your Protein >30%. That’s how easy it is! Less carbs, more protein.
- Pregnitude. This supplement is supposed to increase the quality of eggs, regulate ovulation and menstrual cycle. I had somewhat irregular cycles (were off by about week or so), and have been told by multiple Dr.’s that I likely have PCOS or endometriosis. This supplement is supposed to help all those issues, and has amazing reviews. Honestly I think it did help (along with the diet and break), but I wasn’t great about remembering to take this everyday.
The FIRST month after taking these simple steps I was pregnant! I’m now 35 weeks along and can’t wait to meet our sweet boy.
I hope these tips work for you or my story at least makes you feel less alone in your journey.